Now THAT'S What Breastmilk Is For
Felony assault! You never know when you'll end up in the clink, and need to defend yourself. Good thing she wasn't wasting the stuff on some whiny, hungry baby.
View ArticleOooh, Limburger!
Hey there ladies, the next foodie fad is breastmilk cheese! Your kid might be smart enough to wean himself, or reject your breast outright, but some dumb foodie fuckers in New York will be happy to...
View ArticleBreast Is Best...for performance art!
Someone finally came up with a good use for all that disgusting boob juice-art! Now, I'm all in favour of this, as some poor kid doesn't have to drink it and end up undernourished and suffering from...
View ArticleBreastfeeding=Siesta
Now the dumbasses are hiring nannies to breastfeed their children. So let me get this straight-you hire some I-legal wet nurse and then your kid just wants to eat chimmighangas and listen to mary-achi...
View ArticleBreastfeeding Linked to Dementia
A new study from the The International Teamed Statistics has definitive, concrete, PROOF that breastfeeding babies causes them to go all crazshit once they hit old age. Look at all the early-onset...
View ArticleBreastfeeding in Public is Disgusting!
I don't know why these broads have to whip out their saggy hooters and feed their brats in public? Even a cat (and I know this because my cat recently had kittens) will go off somewhere private to...
View ArticleBreastfeeding Equals Bad Behaviour
I'm not going to breastfeed my baby because breastfeeding causes brattiness. If I wanted my baby to be a juvenile delinquent I'd just give him a packet of Pal Mal and a switchblade.There's even a study...
View ArticleBreastfeeding Causes Speech Delays
Know why your stupid baby hasn't learned to speak yet? Because you have your tit shoved in his mouth all the time! Hey, genius, I have an "early intervention" tip for you: take your boob out of the...
View ArticleBreastfeeding Causes Poverty
Glass ceiling or glass bottle-your choice.You never see CEO's sitting in a bathroom stall pumping in a power suit. Hand a bottle of formula to the nanny for your baby, and get the fuck back to work.
View ArticleBreastfeeding Causes Severe Weather
Don't believe me? Look outside at the snowstorm. We never got blizzards like this back when people bottle fed their babies. More people stay home to feed their babies (because really, who would want to...
View ArticleBreastfeeding Causes Illiteracy
Breastfeeding babies causes them to be illiterate later in life because they couldn't see the story books their mum read them because They had a tit shoved in their face! Really, you try reading like...
View ArticleThe New Nursing Bras
Did you hear about the new nursing bras that have triple strength deodouriser so you don't smell like you're trying to make yoghurt in your shirt? Now you just smell like sourdough starter that has...
View ArticleBreastfeeding Causes Close Republican Primaries
I just got back from a trip to Michigan, and everywhere I went some broad was whipping out her boob to shove in some wailing brat's mouth. There's a really close primary election going on there between...
View ArticleBreastfeeding Causes Broken Homes
Do you want to know why there are so many single mothers out there? Because they insist on nursing their babies. Obviously these morons don't realize tits are for the enjoyment of men, not feeding some...
View ArticleFree Formula Samples in Hospital
If they stop giving new mothers free formula samples in hospital , what am I going to feed my baby????????!!!!!!!!!!And without vouchers for free formula, I'll have to apply for benefits to buy him...
View ArticleObamacare to Require Breastfeeding
The health care law is going to force women to breastfeed their babies so they can get ready to suck on the tit of the State. Fact. It'll still pay to abort if you want, but once the kid is here, you...
View ArticleBabies Need Formula to Thrive
According to breast scientists, your breasts are over 90% water. Why would you want to feed your baby water when companies make safe, nutritious formula? Unless you hate your baby, then you breast feed...
View ArticleBreastfeeding is Sooooo Third World
So yeah, go ahead and feed your baby like a privative savage-why don't you squat in a field to have it too? Me? I'm civilised, so I'm feeding formula. What's more, I'm wearing Liz Claiborne, you can...
View ArticleBreastfeeding Will Make Your Baby Amish
The Amish are all breastfed, and they're so stoopid they don't know how to turn on a television or fasten a pair of pants with a zipper. Unless you want some sort of plain speaking-button trouser...
View ArticleBreastfeeding is a Bacterial Feeding Ground
At least the rubber nipples and bottles get sterilised once in a while. Breastfeeding mothers never wash themselves up, or use a wet-wipe before feeding. Gross. If I served you milk from a filthy,...
View ArticleWonderful Breast Feeding Product
Well, this is progress! Thanks to science, you can buy a feeding device with a rubber nipple, and a tin of powdered-just-add-water food for baby! No more wet spots staining up your shirts! No more...
View ArticleBreastfeeding Causes Childhood Obesity Epidemic
If you want your baby to be a baby, not a piglet, stop hoisting it up to your teat and feeding it all those calories in breastmilk. I mean, a pint of breastmilk is full of fat and sugars, and calories....
View ArticleBreastfeeding Causes Baldness in Babies
According to highly trained hair scientists that studied this shit for their degrees, breastfeeding causes baldness in babies. Go look at a bald, breastfeeding baby-then go look at a normal baby. Read...
View ArticleBreast Milk-The Perfect Food For Government Shutdowns
Before breastfeeding became so popular, we never had government shut downs. We managed to get through the 50's, and 60's without a single shutdown of government services-now look what your...
View Article
